


Tell You I Set You Apart

by PorcupineGirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Declarations Of Love, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Metatron Being a Dick, Post-Episode: s10e10 The Hunter Games, despite the summary this is basically a harmless piece of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-03
Updated: 2015-02-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 06:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3280730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorcupineGirl/pseuds/PorcupineGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Metatron's maliciously vague revelations drive a wedge between Dean and Cas. Dean tries to apologize.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell You I Set You Apart

**Author's Note:**

> I'm tagging it post-10x10, but it's not an episode coda. It just takes place at some unspecified point after that, and if you're reading this later you know to ignore any canon after that episode.

_"Oh, don't tell me neither of you figured it out. Oh, this is too precious, really? Really, guys? Didn't notice a pattern there? The product of a human having sex with an angel, the item an angel uses to cause humans to fall in love, and what, the grace of an angel whose name starts with a C? Is that what you thought I needed? Or maybe the grace of an angel with a trenchcoat fetish?"_

_That was as far as Metatron had gotten before Cas flapped out. Dean had been staring in horror as he realized that Metatron was telling them that it had been_ his _fault that Cas's grace had been the one needed to close off heaven. He'd looked up to see the same horrified look on Cas's face, and he knew. He knew that Cas knew, and that Cas could never forgive him. Maybe if Cas had only found out about his feelings, there'd be some hope. Things would be awkward, but hell, Cas was always awkward. And it seemed like the kind of thing an angel could ignore. But this… not this. And then Cas was gone._

_Dean wasn't getting what he needed out of Metatron anyhow, was no closer to removing the Mark, so he had turned around and left the bloodied angel in the vault._

A week. That has to be enough time. If Cas just needed a little space, if he were going to cool off, he would've done it by now. He would've made some attempt at contact. It's time for Dean to at least try to apologize.

When Dean sits down on his bed, head bowed and hands folded between his knees, he’s shaking. He’s not even sure why—yeah, he’s kinda terrified to do this, to say this shit out loud, but it’s not like it’s anything Cas doesn’t already know. And he’s clearly already lost Cas because of it, so what could it possibly hurt? How much worse could this possibly get? Now that’s a question Dean Winchester should know better than to ask himself.

“Cas,” he begins. “Castiel. I know I’m the last person you wanna hear from right now, but I promise, I’ll leave you alone after this. Just let me say this, okay? I mean, I have no way of knowing if you listen to it or not, but humor me? Just this one last time?”

The words “last time” have his throat hurting and his eyes stinging, and he pauses to get himself together before he goes on. “Saying that I’m sorry—I’m so, so fucking sorry—I know it doesn’t begin to cover it. It doesn’t change the past, it doesn’t give you your grace back. There’s nothing I can say that’s, y’know… adequate. But I want you to know that if I’d known, if I had known for even one second that my feelings for you painted a great big target on your back, I would have gotten the fuck away from you. Done whatever I had to to forget you existed, get over you. Get over _this_.

“Which, I mean,” he huffs out a rueful laugh, “Probably wouldn’t have worked anyway, because of course I’d only do that if I loved you, so. I guess there was just no way out. But god, if I had heard that there was so much as a _rumor_ that Metatron was going to take the grace of an angel that a human had fallen in love with, I would have at least tried.”

Dean hears a muffled pounding. Someone at their door? He tries to ignore it, he’s not done here yet. If this is his last chance to talk to Cas, he’s not getting interrupted.

“So anyhow, I don’t know if you’re just uncomfortable around me now that you know, which I totally get, or if you hate me because I’m the reason your—“ Dean’s phone starts to buzz in his pocket. He continues as he pulls it out. “The reason your grace is gone, and I definitely understand if…”

Dean’s voice fades away as his stomach drops. His phone displays the name _Castiel_. He flips it open, not even knowing what to hope for.

“Cas?”

“Stop praying and answer the door, Dean.”

“Wait, that’s—that’s you?” Dean is up and out of his room already.

“Yes. Dean, I don’t want to say this on the phone, _please_ let me in, _please_ —“ Dean has never heard Cas’s voice quite like this before—urgent and pleading, as though he thinks there’s a chance in hell that Dean might refuse to let him in.

“I’m coming, I’m coming! I was in my room, hang on.” He dashes past the tables and chairs.

All Cas says is another plaintive “ _Please_ ,” and Dean can’t at all fathom why Cas is the one begging, when _he’s_ the one who needs to beg forgiveness.

“All right, I’m on the stairs, it’s okay, Cas.” Dean doesn’t even know why he’s reassuring Cas, all he knows is that Cas sounds like he needs reassurance.

Dean opens the door to find Castiel standing there, eyes wide, phone to his ear. He feels a rush of deja vu, but there’s nothing funny this time. Dean goes to put his phone back in his pocket, while Castiel just drops his right on the ground.

“It’s _me_ , Dean.”

“I… can see that.” There’s something urgent in Cas’s voice that tells Dean that he’s misinterpreting, but he has no idea what other interpretation there is. Cas grabs him by the shoulders, pressing the both of them through the doorway and into the bunker.

“No. It’s not you, it’s me.” Now Cas sounds like he’s breaking up with Dean, which makes no sense whatsoever. At Dean’s obvious confusion, he tries again. “It _wasn’t_ you. It was me. Metatron.” He slows down, looks like he’s trying to get this part right. “He needed the grace of an _angel_ who is in love with a _human._ That’s _me_ , Dean. That’s me.”

Dean feels like he can’t trust his own ears. He can’t be hearing this correctly, or maybe he’s not processing it right or the words are mixing up in his brain. He stares confusedly into wide, pleading blue eyes.

“It is?”

“Yes.”

“An angel in love with a human.” Dean tries on the words, almost expects Cas to flinch back and correct him.

“ _Yes._ ” Cas sounds relieved, like he trusts that he’s _finally_ gotten through. He rests his forehead on Dean’s, and closes his eyes, sighing.

“I hope you’re saying what I think you’re saying, Cas,” Dean says slowly, a smile tugging at one side of his mouth. He starts to slide his hands around Cas’s waist as he continues because he is actually quite confident that Cas is saying exactly what Dean thinks he’s saying. “Because if you came here to tell me you’re in love with Sam, then I’m about to embarrass myself.”

Cas chuckles, opening his eyes. And god, they are so blue and so close and Dean can’t quite function with them there. “I assure you, my feelings for your brother are entirely platonic.”

“Good.”

“My feelings for you are not.”

In reply, Dean presses their lips together, pulling Cas in tight against him.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few weeks ago, with the vague thought of it being part of the climax of a bigger fic. But I've already got two big projects going (the next And Yet 'verse story plus an almost certainly ill-advised AU), so I gave it just enough context to make sense and decided it made a decent enough ficlet on its own.


End file.
